Are We Really Lonely Or Did We Start To Believe It’s A Crime?
Scared To Be Lonely?
I still remember a scene vividly from a French movie called L'Homme qui aimait les femmes( English translation is “The Man Who Loved Women”). The main character Morane tries to comfort a crying little girl by saying to her that crying is actually something closer to happiness. He says that while we are crying, there is a part inside of us that is feeling happy, during the moment we are shedding tears like a child.
As I recall this, I can’t help but feel that it’s kind of very true. Being in a lonely state is a choice as well as something one has to live with because we don’t always get to choose who we surround ourselves with. Sometimes, we wish to have all of our cronies by our side no matter whether we're in a state of bliss or sadness. Other times, we just want to be left alone by ourselves even if people are dying to catch up with us or have us for company.
But be it a megastar with millions of fanbases, a normal person with a predictable routine, or a pretty girl whose DMs are packed with messages, EVERYONE gets ( or have felt lonely) time and again.
However, the question lingers: even in our most abject state of isolation when we feel utterly by ourselves, are we really lonely at those times? Or is it all just a feeling that we choose to believe while our state is in fact not really so desperate?
The Tower Of Babel
Million of years ago, things weren’t like they are today. There used to be a time when humanity had progressed on a significant level than we have today. There were no indifferences, no injustice but only progress and advancement every day. This was all possible because all of humanity spoke the same language at that time: there was no race, religion, or any barriers among people because understanding existed amongst all.
Since they had progressed exponentially, humanity decided to reach heaven and level with god by building a structure called the “Tower of Babel”. As expected, the almighty didn’t really like this idea of ours and before that tower could be completed, he divided us, humans, into several languages, races, ideologies.
Thus, we became scattered and left only with our differences, no sense of understanding amongst each other. The Tower of Babel is still nowhere near completion.
The myth might not be logical, but somewhere it feels that the “language” of those people was something different than the one that comes to our mind today.
I feel their language was something more than verbal, their form of communication defied the language of art, science, and mathematics, Maybe it was more universal and beyond our comprehension.
But What Does The Tower Of Babel Has Anything To Do With Being Lonely?
The Babel is the metaphor here, a tower that has never been completed to date. The tower of Babel is inside all of us, and a guarantee that something inside of us is never complete no matter how far we reach.
Perhaps the people of Babel had lied to us all along while in reality, they were the ones who stopped building the tower themselves. But why would they do that? They did it because somewhere those people felt that the progress, indifference, and peace had only bored them to death.
Every one of them was dying out of loneliness because of the absence of chaos. Yes! The lack of chaos and the death of their self led them to be wary of heaven all because they were living in one. And what could be more terrifying than reaching a place that’s no different than the one you’re living in?
The people building Babel missed chaos deeply than ever and the isolation rose from their predictable state.
Somewhere along the way while they were building the tower, the predictability and pattern of their days became the most annoying part of their life, Their state of resilience and understanding amongst each other became a burden. After all, in such a state the individuality suffers and dies leaving the herd with the same set of principles and beliefs.
THEY were the ones who didn’t build the tower because at some point they became aware that without differences and isolation, nothing lies ahead.
Thus, we are here today, the scattered offsprings of the ones who strayed away from building the monument. What would we have been without those people? Without these fire inside of us, the rage, the insecurities. For the young folks out there who feel invisible, the words of the visionary film legend Andrei Tarkovsky will suffice as well as listed in the video below.
Director Andrei Tarkovsky's advice to young people who have trouble being alone
What's life after all without suffering and the lowest moment of our lives? When is it that you feel more alive: while you are on a cube of office clanking our keywords or heartbreak from unrequited love?
Our insecurities, troubles, and lowest times shape us. Don’t be afraid of Isolation, don’t be afraid of being in a lonely state, after all, that’s when you are the real you. Don’t be afraid to be alone with yourself, you are all that you have,
So if you are lonely darling, you are glowing!!